Welcome back to another edition at PrettyBrittani.com! I am coming off the heels of a birthday celebration that was bittersweet. I celebrated the day before my birthday with many people that I love, but there was still a certain sadness in my heart. I found myself replying to loving messages and encouraging birthday wishes only to find myself sobbing as I walked into a grocery store to get a birthday cake and ice cream. And it dawned on me, I just wish I had someone special to share the moment to blow out my candles. Yes, there is the love I have in friends, sorority sisters, and family but in the stillness, in that quiet corner of my heart… was despair. I was longing for the one God created me for.
So I did what I do…. I put on worship music, which happened to be Mahalia Jacksons’, “God put a rainbow in the Sky.” The smokiness and brass tones of her voice were was so raw that it penetrated the dark place I was trying to conceal. Imagine being in the middle of the sea on a raft that you made and a storm was in the sky, big clouds, lightening bolts, and rushing winds. When suddenly you see familiar faces on a yacht with happy music, and yummy snacks pull up and rescue you. I literally felt the sunshine in my heart. And just like those rushing waves, Jesus began to comfort me. His Holy Spirit met me and towered over the depths of my grief at that moment. So subtly there was peace in my heart there was an abundance of hope. I silently cried, why Lord am I alone on my birthday? Then, of course, the reassurance came that I will no longer experience a Birthday like that again. That my tears are not in vain and I can look forward to Birthdays where I will be surrounded by my husband and children and even grandchildren.
I want to encourage you today through my own healing. That there is a ministry in distraction. Distractions come in forms that we see and find solace in. Things like alcohol, sex, parties, (insert your struggle here or all that apply) meaningless relationships. You can choose to look to those temporary band-aids, or you can turn to your Healer to remove that emotional tumor. See the purpose through the pain, my beloved. I could have continued wallowing in sorrow, but I chose to turn to the Creator of my emotions. I pressed into an intimacy I have with my Heavenly Father, and I let Him into the place I was nursing. Because He wanted to heal that hint of brokenness when I was ready to give it over to Him. God only wanted me to let Him into the secret places of my heart so He could share that with my Husband. God will never shame you, but He will reveal to your spouse what you are lacking,so they know how to cover you in prayer! Come on SOMEBODY… Do you hear me?! Your destiny and purpose are on the line! You need to marry someone that is going to run this race with you and when you’re tired you can make it on their prayers.
I challenge you to override your emotions and put in your EXECUTIVE FUNCTION of your brain. Google the term if you don’t understand. I implore that you find the rainbow in your storm. I am waiting for my spouse that will protect my purpose and be a man of God that has DESTINY on his life. I did not share this post for pity, so please don’t feel sorry. I just want to testify that my God showed up in my DESPAIR and took the time to once again PROVE HIS LOVE for little me. Be encouraged Beloveds!